As I sit here thinking of all that I am grateful for, I am reminded of the Holiday we just passed and the one we are about to enjoy. Most of all I am reminded of God's love for me. I really have so much to be thankful for. But before I go there, let's be honest, I have not always "felt" thankful, nor do I think my circumstances alone are any reason to be thankful.
Those of you who know the deep pain of losing someone close to you can understand the suffering and emptiness it brings. Many times over the last year and a half I have struggled with self pity. A not so fun way of making myself justified in reacting to things or even people because of what I am going through. Recently, I have been convicted of this and have really strived to change my attitude. Not so easy to do I am learning, esp without God's help.
What I have found helpful in this matter is to be about other people instead of about myself.
One way I am learning this is through prayer. I always feel I have so much to pray for, in fact, a whole laundry list of what I need and what will "fix" my situation. Not that there is anything wrong with presenting our requests to God, no matter how little or big they are. But, the piece I am missing out on is the blessing of daily taking time to pray for the people in my life.
Every time that I make it a point to have accountabilty with a friend and decide to pray for them, God brings me further away from my self and closer to Him, exactly what I need.
The other thing that happens is God reminds me of the many people in my life that are suffering too. So, in light of my recent revelations, I am so thankful for the people God has sent me to help teach me, love me, and serve me during this time of suffering.
One of the things I am thankful for is the many meals that were brought to my family during the past month. What a blessing and relief it was to not have to worry about making or planning dinner. And for those of you who know me well, you know cooking is not one of my gifts!
Another thing I am thankful for is the most recent test results which show there is really nothing major keeping us from the chance to having more healthy children one day!
The last but not least thing on my list of things to be thankful for is that Mark's brother Paul and his wife Shona and their 3 boys are moving right down the street from us after 9 long years of living very far away!!
We are so excited to have them back and for Kaylee to grow up with her cousins.
For those of you who know Kaylee well, you know that she is crazy about the oldest boy, Josh.
Yes, this is the one whose picture she has to sleep with most nights! Since we have told Kaylee that they are moving here she asks every day if they have moved yet! It will be a long three weeks until they move here!
The season of Thankfulness has arrived, one I hope will continue to grow me this holiday season. As I know it is always a challenge to go through the holidays with a recent loss, I will keep my eyes on what I do have, what is real, and what is right in front of me...
Pursuing Dreams
5 months ago
1 comment:
IThere is this person that I know who's son was very ill when he was born. He was hospitalized & given only "days" to live. What amazed me the most (besides this young baby boys miraculous healing) was that the father was out serving other people while his son layed in the hospital "dying". Why would you leave him at such a time? (I asked) His response was that he wasn't alone, he left him with the Lord. He was acting on Paul's advice to the Philipians (and to us). "Do not worry about anything, but in everything with prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your request be known to God" He said that he had already asked the Lord to heal his son and he was going to act out his faith by serving others in need.
This blows my mind! This is truly the time that EVERYONE gives you a free card to soak up sympathy and sit in self pity. Heck, no one even questions if you are angry with the Lord. Yet this man put his focus on others. His focus on serving the Lord.
The Lord blesses the humble. He gives strength to the meek. He calls us to be servant leaders. Not just when life is rosey.
I am amazed by your strength Angie to think outside of yourself in such a time. I am encouraged by your example of humility in praying for others. Your heart is bleeding, yet the Great Physician will hold pressure...in the end your will be restored.
My love...
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