Complete

John 15: 9-11 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."


I am getting ready to wrap up my study "Learning Through Loss." It is not the study, rather the Healer, who has brought me to this place of completeness. The depression that accompanied my losses is but a memory. I read this snippet on depression the author writes, "Some who struggle with loss struggle to the point of depression. Overwhelming feelings of sadness come and go, but some spiral downward with their sad feelings until they cease to handle their responsibilities...Those who are truly depressed are those who have lost hope. They no longer believe that God has a good purpose for their situation, that God cares, or that He will help them. This kind of doubt in God and His Word can become crippling unless there is a heart change that acknowledges the sin of doubting God and His promises."

The study portion of the above verse says, "When things are going well, we feel elated. When hardships come, we sink into depression. But true joy transcends the rolling waves of circumstance. Joy comes from a consistent relationship with Jesus Christ. When our lives are intertwined with His, He will help us walk through adversity without sinking into debilitating lows and manage prosperity without moving into deceptive highs. The joy of living with Jesus Christ daily will keep us level-headed, no matter how high or low our circumstances."

I am not proud to say I had days that I sunk into debilitating lows. Thankfully they were not many. And thank God, he pulled me out. This healing business has been a process for me. I could write a book, and a long one, about all the "come to Jesus" moments I had. But never have I felt more complete, whole, and at such peace as I do today. When I ponder why that is, many things come to mind. I do not know how or why these things have played a role, I just know they did.

One of the most extraordinary blessings that came from this journey is my marriage. I would never have said we had a "rough" marriage or really many "issues." But I also never fully understood the amount of joy that could come from 2 people joined together in God's name for His glory. We have talked much about what God has transformed us into and it still amazes both of us. This may sound crazy and outlandish, but I can honestly say the last 3 years of suffering was worth the transformation that God has done in both of our lives and together as a marriage.