Free

It has been quite some time since my last blog. A lot is going on in our lives. I am finding computer time to be less and less these days. Our church (along with 84 other churches in Cincinnati) started a series called "Free". It has been great. We all have these workbooks that were so carefully thought out and well written. Mark and I both have been realizing so much about our lives and where we have been settling. It's so easy to think the little habits or idiosincracies in our life are just "who we are" and never going to change. It has been so freeing to know these things can certainly be changed with God's power through His spirit.

It has been revealed to me areas in my life where I am in bondage. God never intended for us to live in bondage to anything, but rather to be free. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, "Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom". I am finding when I heed what my conscious is telling me (which is really God's Spirit), like "rest" or "keep a quiet tongue", that I am always thankful I listened. But how often do I try to figure things out on my own, with my own strength, my own power, only to completely exhaust.

Mark and I recently started grief counseling from a Christian counseling group in town.
We both have so enjoyed it. We kinda look forward to it all day, like a date night , crazy, I know.
At the 1st session we told of our last 3 years and after speaking it all out loud realized how much we have truly gone through. At the end of our story the Counselor threw up his hands and said, "really, that's it? " We both laughed out loud having no idea where he was headed. He then started sharing how he would expect a lot more than some anxiety on both of our parts and some depression here and there. He asked how our marriage has been able to survive this and how we have been able to function up until this point? We really had no answers. Honestly, we have not "done" the right things through out our suffering and grief. Both of us felt we have distanced ourselves from God at times, both felt we have treated each other harshly at times, both have admitted to selfishness, both have tried more times than not to use our own strength. And both of us have been so incredibly exhausted.

As we reflect more on his question, the only solid explanation is being carried by God all this time. I think it's no coincidence this "Free" series has come at this time in our lives. I feel a nudge from God that He is ready for us to make the next move to our freedom. He has provided in more ways than I have time to explain, in every aspect of our lives. He has given us more Grace than we ever could have earned. He has loved us more than we are capable of loving. We are finally ready to be free...

here's a quote form our workbook that says it so well: "Remember: getting free isn't about jumping through the right hoops or correcting your thinking. Freedom comes from a changed heart and a fundamental belief that God is good and intends good things for you, even when circumstances don't seem to line up with that belief...True freedom is about receiving what was always yours to claim."