A not so "funny" Funny story

Today, I can laugh about it!

My sister-in-law and I have been carpooling the kids to preschool and back. Yesterday was my turn. After I picked up Will from his class, I trotted down to Kaylee's class. Her sweet teacher asked me if I could stay after to talk. I knew she must have done something during class and so I was preparing myself. Just 2 days prior I got the report that she had a hard time listening on the playground. We talked about it after school that day and I gave her a "consequence" for disobeying the teacher. So, of course, my mind was wandering about what my little stinker could have been up to today.

Miss Mikki waited until the last child was picked up and scooted me to the other side of the hall to have a little chat. Will on one side, and Kay on the other. She told me of 4 instances over the last 2 1/2 hours that Kaylee blatantly disobeyed and used "physical means" to get other children out of her way. She said they're were lots of "tears" involved, inflicted by my child of course.
I started thinking of the ways I would talk to her and some punishments sure to fit the crime.

Miss Mikki reassured me they do see this behavior at the beginning of the school year for children who have never been to school or daycare. She was so sweet about it. She was upfront that we should continue to work on "no means no" at home with her.

She talked about Kaylee having a hard time sharing, that's where the "physical" part came in.
And then reassured me that she sees that with children who have no brothers and sisters at home...Well, the faucet started to leak....no it actually burst, and I mean really burst.
I could hardly control myself, it was bad! I am laughing as I type this because that poor teacher. She was a little shocked. I felt the need to explain where this was coming from, but I still didn't have a grip yet. For all I knew she was probably thinking, "wow did she think she had a little angel at home?" Which for those of you who know my "little angel", you know her only saving grace is her adorable little face. She is hardly an angel!

As I tried to pull it together, I leaked out that we have had a rough 2 1/2 years and that we have lost 4 babies. I told her it was not our desire for Kaylee to be an only child. She immediately hugged me, and now the principal was peering over us with apologetic eyes as well. Thank the Lord most of the moms and other children had already left the building. The tears were back full force since I mustered out my latest news...

Here I was totally out of control sobbing with 2 children at my side....or were they? I totally lost track of where they were and when I realized it, I told her I would be right back. Now, the principal, Miss Mikki, and I were searching for the children. The principal found them both in the boys room! I ran in to grab Kaylee out and of course, she started screaming and throwing an absolute tantrum. It took me all my strength to pull her out kicking and screaming, she was real strong when she wanted to be!

This is the part where I can totally laugh!

So I tried to finish up the conversation with Miss Mikki promising that Mark and I will work with Kaylee at home, while she had sorrowful eyes looking at me, bless her heart, all the while trying my hardest to hold onto 2 squirming little hands. I momentarily got a grip and walked the children out of the school into the rain. What a blessing the rain was! The sobbing started full force once again and this time was somewhat masked by the rain on my face.

Once I got in the car I quickly called Shona and explained my lovely encounter to her. What a blessing to have her to cry to, she knows only too well what days like these feel like.

I did eventually stop the leak. What a mess. I was so not prepared for all of that. I usually get to pick when I want to share my story with someone. It is usually on my terms...I do not do well under surprise conditions!

All in all, I can laugh about it. Not about the pain, of course, but about how my story is a real depiction of my life. How God infuses humor into my days even when they start out as leaks!
I am thankful God has prompted me to be exposed and no longer hide my grief for only me to see. I clearly don't have the means to control it either way you look at it, so why not share it!
I am sure we all have days like this, in some form or another. And I am thankful to have an open forum to share the funny hard days of my life!

A new Season

This week marks a special milestone in my life, my baby girl started preschool!
It has been so fun to gear her up for the big day, get her supplies, and talk to her all
about what school is like. She is so ready for this new season of life. She is so incredibly outgoing
and loves to meet new people. I am equally excited for this new journey. I love to see Kaylee learn and share the new exciting things in her world with us.

I snuck in a little early to pick her up the first day peeking in her door. I tried to be discreet, but, well, she totally saw me, started screaming mommy, and I felt like a looser mom! After class, her very sweet teacher gently reminded me of how the flow of parents comes and goes best. She explained that most parents have an older child down the hall or a baby in a pumpkin seat in their hands and that it is best to wait until the doors open to approach the class in order to move smoothly. Well, that kinda reminded me of something...it's no secret that the little mundane comments of life can hurt my wound on any given day. Ouch, I have neither of those.

Just a reminder of the pain that stings me ever so often.

I was catching up on my devotional from the day before and was just brought to tears when I read the paragraph. I will paraphrase what it said:
"The cross that my Lord calls me to carry may assume many different shapes...I may be required to continually cultivate the same field year after year, even though it yields no harvest whatsoever...I may be asked of God to nurture kind and loving thoughts about the very person who has wronged me...And I may be called to walk through this world with a bright, smiling face while my heart is breaking...Yes, there are many crosses, and every one of them is heavy and painful. And it is unlikely that I would seek out even one of them on my own. Yet Jesus is never as near to me as when I lift my cross, lay it submissively on my shoulder, and welcome it with a patient and uncomplaining spirit. He draws close to me in order to mature my wisdom, deepen my peace, increase my courage, and supplement my power. All this He does so that through the very experience that is so painful and distressing to me, I will be of greater use to others..."

This is my prayer,
as time passes,
and seasons change in my life,
that I would lift this cross willingly and shamelessly to Him...
and be of greater use to others through His power.