Today is the 2 year anniversary of our first miscarriage. We were on vacation with our dear friends at the beach. I was just retelling the events of that time a few days ago to some friends.
Two years ago was the start of a changed heart.
My life has never been the same since that day.
Not because it was the most tragic thing that has ever happened to anybody, but because it was the most tragic thing that ever happened to Mark and I.
Two years ago is when the roller coaster began, when the depression first set in, when the anxiety was first noticed. When my heart truly broke for the first time...
Two years ago was when I realized I don't get to make the plans...
Two years ago is when God took hold of His child and forever changed her.
With confidence I can say I am grateful beyond measure to a God of Mercy, Compassion, Healing, and Restoration...for turning my tragedy into beauty. For changing a heart so in need of change. For bringing so much joy to my life through loss. Amazing how only He can do just that.
Today I have a heavy heart for more women who are suffering...how my heart hurts so much for them. How else would I have the compassion and heart to pray for them or be a part of their journey without my suffering. I see purpose.
I have watched as God has brought people into my life at just the right time to walk with me through the valley and I see how He is bringing people into my life so I might walk with them. Isn't this what life is all about?
I will still make plans in my everyday life... but I know He holds all the Plans, big and small, and oh how thankful I am for that.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-14
Pursuing Dreams
1 year ago
4 comments:
With tears in my eyes I am praying for you and loving you for being able to express your feelings so beautifully.
Keep me posted on your progress.....
love,
rosemary
I'm thinking about you and praying for you! I'm very thankful that God put you in my life when he did.
Jenn
You have been a great blessing to me. I have not experienced the pain of losing a child, but in the pain I have experienced this year, it has been nice to have someone who understands pain to share it with.
you are changed...though i wish with all my heart that you didn't have to experience the pain that you have...you are truley a different woman than you were before, for so many reasons. and the crazy thing is that i only know a sliver of what He's been doing in your heart & yet i can see the awesome transformation. praying for you for the days & weeks ahead as God unfolds His plans for you. i love you so much!
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