A New kind of Peace

After talking with some of my close friends and family lately, I have realized how much calming peace has come over my demeanor. Many people have commented about how I seem different lately. And I just feel like crying out in thanksgiving to God for bringing this peace my way.

My depression has mostly been lifted, my anxiety very minimal, and yet there is no baby.

Amazing how that happens. For so long I thought a baby in my arms would be the only way for me to feel peace like this. There He goes again, full of surprises!

There is really no good explanation why this peace has covered me as of late. I mean, I did nothing out of my own will to bring it on.

So, the only solid explanation can be the loving Father covering me once again. I am in awe of how much joy has been rushed back into my life over the last month. I am enjoying Mark more than ever, having more giggles than ever with Kaylee, which one could argue is due to her persistant and hilarious little personality.

But really, I have just plain and simply been enjoying life more and more. Seems absurd when I think about it, when I really think over my circumstances and how I am no closer today to having my sweet babies back.

I have decided to praise the Lord for this miracle and to trust He has so much more waiting for me, or us, I should say.

I will say I am beginning to know what Paul meant when he said, "...and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7) At least I can relate to the "transcends all understanding" part, because this peace I am experiencing makes no good sense to me whatsoever. But, hey, I'll take it!